A Personal Narrative

As a project for the writing institute I've been attending this week, we had to write a personal narrative...

Xanax, Please!

by: Kary Shankle

My heart was racing! My stomach was knooted like a pretzel! I asked the lump in my throat to kindly remove itself. My eye twitched uncontrollably and I just knew that my neck was a red, splotchy mess.

As I turned the corner and approached 406 Catcher Road, I felt as though my body had been taken over by an alien. It was my first day of professional development at James R. Tate Elementary School as a new teacher...coincidentally, the only new teacher that year. Somehow, it seemed like I always ended up in these situations: the only one this, on my own that...a "single rider" on a two person seat roller coaster ride.

I slowed my car and watched the needle on my speedometer slowly descend as I trned into the school's parking lot. My car screeched to a halt in the first parking space I saw. I sucked in a deep breath as I thought to myself...I can do this! Slowly and reluctantly, I fidgeted for the door handle and stepped out of the safe haven of my car onto the freshly blacktopped parking lot. I took another deep breath in an effort to slow my convulsing heart, which I was certain was going to take a flying leap out of my chest at any given moment. All at once, my eyes were drawn to the long walk that I needed to endure to reach the front door of the school building.

After some time, I convinced myself to take the first step in my long journey to the door. I walked as casually and confidently as I could possibly muster. I thought to myself...I'm a college-educated individual. I belonged here just as much as everyone else, right? I had almost believed the words that my brain was trying so hard to communicate with my heart, when I pulled a "classic Kary"...I tripped on the step up to the sidewalk. My whole body jolted forward and my purse with all its contents dropped to the ground. I took a moment to collect the paraphernalia from my purse that was now scattered on the sidewalk, as well as myself, from what had just taken place.

As soon as I was upright again, it was in my sights...the door to the next 180 some odd days of my life. I caught my reflection in the window of the door. Carefully, I had chosen, what I called and "in between" outfit of dressy capris and top, dressed up with a touch of jewelry, as not to be too overdressed or too casual on my first day. Well, it's too late to change now! Another deep breath. My shaking hand raised to open the door only to find...it was locked. In my second attempt, I tried th other door with a forceful tug. The door flew open, taking me with it. Luckily, I caught myself just before I fell on my bottom.

I stepped into the threshold of the building, my brain signaled to me, You made it! I was overcome by the smell of a fresh, new school year - a cross between cleaning products and freshly sharpened pencils. I proceeded to walk into the lobby where I was gretted by...no one. Which way am I supposed to go? Where is our meeting again? What if I came to the wrong place! My head was swirling with uncertainty.

In the distance, I heard footsteps and chatter, accompanied by a few laughs, from what I thought was a hallway up ahead. I pasted a smile on my face and approached the hallway with unsure steps. I saw teachers standing around carefree, catching up from their time apart during the summer. Some looked up from their conversations to meet my eyes, but most did not.

At last, I reacher, what I believed to be my final destination...the school library. I wasn't sure whether to go in or hide out in the bathroom until the meeting started. My mind began to flood with memories of my old, familiar school and the clase friends I had made there. Would these new teachers welcome me with open arms and become those friends I missed so dearly now? A silly memory popped into my head about the time I was once given a "grow a friend" capsule as an inside joke. I wished I could grow a friend to be at my side right now.

It was too late to turn back, for I felt the eyes from the hallway as they anticipated my next move. So, with a leap of faith, I entered the book-filled room. My eyes scanned the area in search of a familiar or friendly face. With no such luck, my anxiety was about to get the best of me. Just as I was about to bolt to the door and set "plan B" into action....hiding out in the bathroom...a voice stopped me. "I saved this seat just for you, friend! Come sit by me! I felt relief pour over my body from head to toe. I turned around to see a smiling, welcoming face, framed with long blode hair, gesturing me towards and empty seat. For the first time that day, I walked in a hurry to get to where I was going. I couldn't wait to sit down next to my new friend, as if someone might steal her away from me. I lowered my body into the chair. She turned to me and said, "I'm so glad you're hear!"

My heart began to slow from it's marathon pace. My knots in my stomach started to unwind. The lump in my throat now began to dissolve and I felt my eyes begin to focus normally. My neck returned to a splotchless state...and I thought to myself: This lovely lady will never know how she blessed me today, in that moment and time. I will never forget it...my instant "grow a friend," you were my lifesaver.